My family is an anti-feminist bonanza and it drives me INSANE

I've recently been dealing with my family's ridiculous opposition to all things feminist and it really bugs me. The first problem is my younger brother. He's 17, so hopefully he will learn, but I'm afraid that with no one challenging his shitty views about women, he's going to turn into a terrible person. He's charismatic and well liked, so as far as he's concerned the world is all right, but it makes me so mad that I want to punch him when he carries on about how I'm being ridiculous and making everything a fight when I point out that it's not okay to say or perpetuate gender essentialist ideas. Literally, if I say that it's not okay for him to call some girl he knows a "whore" he gets visibly angry that I would challenge him.

But the other problem is my mother. I think she basically believes in equality, but I don't think she thinks that deeper problems that feminism deals with are real problems re: affirmative action, and intersectional oppression. It irks me because she's such a messed up person but thinks it's okay to judge. When I point out her hypocrisy she just shuts me down. For context, I still live with my family, so it's not just something I can escape. the thing that set me off today was that she said a woman in a weight loss ad wasn't (skinny enough) to be wearing a bikini again just yet. (the woman was 50 years old and had lost like 150lbs. She looked amazing.) On the other hand, my mother is bordering on 250lbs, and has tons of health issues as a result. the fact that she doesn't see how problematic it is for her to make that kind of comparison really bugs me. She's also really fond of pointing out that JHud has presumably gained some weight back. (I don't see it).

I just... if I can't even get them on board with BASIC feminist values like not body shaming, how will they EVER get around to bigger issues like race and gender essentialism? I'm really at my rope's end. Better yet, how do I learn to deal so that the don't drive me crazy?

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